I grab the phone and snap ‘Hello?’ I have just taken the first mouthful of my supper and am keen to discourage any enthusiastic salesperson wanting to sell me a new gas or broadband contract. I listen. Nothing. I look longingly at my roast dinner. ‘Hello,’ I say, ‘is anyone there or not?’ And then I hear it. It’s quiet but unmistakable nevertheless. I presume it’s a man; after all I’ve never heard of women doing this sort of thing. It occurs to me: I haven’t had one for ages. I look back at my meal, dropping in temperature by the second. ‘Look,’ I say, grumpily, ‘if you’re going to be a heavy breather, at least do it loud enough for me to actually hear!’ And then my son’s voice comes down the line clearly – ‘Hi Mum, it’s me. Sorry, my bluetooth microphone wasn’t working properly.’
© Vicky Newham 2012. All rights reserved.
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